just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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