I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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