first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
