Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize