so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
