she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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