He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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