I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
