party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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