the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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