um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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