He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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