dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
