Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize