I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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