Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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