he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
