I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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