you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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