I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
