Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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