So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
