I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
