Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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