If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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