also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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