I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My feet surprised me
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize