No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Im part way to drunk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
