dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
