Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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