Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
