apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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