Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
