No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
NoShamevember. You game?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
