Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
