I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
