The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
