Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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