we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
