I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We're too hungover to prance.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize