Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
