You just made me feel so damn special
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
