This is not my ceiling
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Randomize
