Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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