If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize