I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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