You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
