Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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