Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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