Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
