hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
