She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
