You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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