How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
