Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
