i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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