running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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