You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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