I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
