Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
