i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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