Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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